July 8th (Westboro Baptist Church)

Friday 8^th July, the Phelp interview.  The main reason I thought the Phelps would be fun would be a passage in Luke (also in another gospel I think), where Jesus is describing the end times.  Two men in a bed!  Jesus says you can get raptured if you are two men in one bed!  I also listen to a load of xian radio going across country, and I could make such a great gay sermon from this.

‘Remember Lotts Wife!  This is clearly a reference to not looking back, and the very next line is about two men in a bed.  Jesus is quite clear about his choice of sexes here, he could have said a man and his wife, he could have said a mother and her child, but no, its two men in ONE bed, ONE bed, signifying the one-ness of the two men… etc etc’.  This is always what bugs me when people start blathering about being ‘scholarly’ in Christianity.  I’ve listened to the scholars, and yes of the stupidity they issue forth, this (two men in ONE bed) comment wouldn’t even register above the noise!

Anyway bear in mind it was just an idea, and that I had driven from Columbus to Kansas city the previous day, and had no time to prepare at all.

They were very courteous when they greeted me, Megan and Megan, one young and pretty, the other as ugly as her opinions.

I had hoped to try and keep it all on a civilized, clear and logical level, but it became almost instantly obvious that this was a lost cause.  The hostility of ‘Meg the Eldar’ was really something I was unprepared for.  The volume, the amount, and the hostility in the pitch of her voice was that of a bitter, bitter woman.  Like a dog that’s been tormented daily till all it knows how to do is attack anything that comes within biting distance.  The daughter, I had the feeling was only there for eye-candy, or was just there as a spectator so Meg the Eldar could show her how to properly hate something not of the cult.  The daughter spoke softly and had it just been me and her we might have made some progress.  She had a venomfangx look to her.  Every argument had a ‘memorized by rote’ unthought through answer, but given time it might have been possible to untangle some of the mess.  But alas, Meg the Eldar, from the very start was throwing in pointless insults at every opportunity, ‘your nothing special’ ‘your country is worthless’ ‘your mother…’ etc etc.  Water off a ducks back for me of course, I’ve had more shit thrown at me than that before. Battle-hardened to the childish feces flinging 🙂 .  Eventually, I decided that Meg the Eldar could not be allowed to streamroller the events by doing 90 % of the talking, only 5% of which was relevant, but when I accosted her about it she threatened repeatedly to leave.

Realizing that she essentially had the trump card of just walking out, I  went for the ‘Jesus endorses homosexuality’ gambit.

It hit the spot, and they ‘RAGE-QUIT’.  The great thing was though that Meg the Eldar acknowledged that women should be grinding mill with rocks when the rapture happens.

PWNED BITCH.

After that back on the road, and drove for a LONG time.  Made it to Colorado Springs by dusk, and stopped off at a coffee shop to upload some stuff, catch up with email etc.  But by this time I was a spent wraith.  My plan had been to head up to the mountains and find some quiet forest road to park on.  Eyeballing the map ‘Cripples Creek’ looked fun.  Boy did I get it wrong.  I was expecting things to get quiet and empty very quickly.  Not a bit of it, turns out its all ski resorts etc up there.  Nothing worse that having to drive on and on and on in the dark when you are exhausted.  But alas no alternatives.  Eventually gave up and found a larger siding and just crashed out.  I had figured the traffic would die off quickly after midnight, but not a bit of it.  There was a steady stream of cars, every minute or so throughout the night.  I just couldn’t figure it out.  Where were they coming from and going too? To me this looked like a road to nowhere.  At any rate I woke up in the night to see Jupiter rising over the mountains.  First time I’ve seen him this year!  Hopefully nearer opposition I will get a team together to do a global planetary timelapse!

Tags: anger, baptist, bible, biblical, christian, christians, church, crazy, fags, fail, gay, hate, hating, in, interview, jesus, quit, rage, ragequit, scholar, so much, thunderf00t, westoboro